What is the worst car ever?

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 01/13/2014 at 12:00 • Filed to: tournament of turds

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Welcome all to the selection thread for the first annual El Torneo de Turds!

Here you will post your pick for the worst piece of shit ever to be foisted off on to people as a car. All cars are eligible, none of that TopGear bullocks about, "the brand should have known better," a shit car is shit. People may get offended, but try not to.

Requirements:

-1 picture of the car

-The year(s) make and model

-A 1-3 sentence description as to why the car was such a crap-can

Let's try to limit it to 1 per person until Friday, if we still haven't reached 64 than we will eliminate the restriction.

My pick is the 2004-5 Chevrolet Classic:

Yes, this originally fleet only model was the last of the P-90 platform Malibu's which was first introduced as a 1997 MY. It was only offered with the 144 HP 2.2L Ecotech L61 inline 4 mated to the 4T40E 4-speed autotragic transmission. This car has the cheapest grades of materials known to man, it is slow, bland to look at, and on top of it all, named the Classic.

So, there you have it, what say you?

Nibby > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:01

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I passed my driver's test in a 98 Malibu. Hated it, except it was rather comfy.

Maybe not the worst car(s) ever, but I've driven both a 2010 Jeep Patriot and a Lexus HS250h... terrible cars.

I would say the worst new car you can buy is the Murano CrossCabriolet.

CalzoneGolem > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:02

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I'm wondering how long this image will stay on oppo.

Party-vi > CalzoneGolem 01/13/2014 at 12:03

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It's burned into my retinas, so forever.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Nibby 01/13/2014 at 12:03

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So, you nominate the CrossCabriolet?

Nibby > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:05

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Yes

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Nibby 01/13/2014 at 12:06

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Can you please provide the necessary description?

For Sweden > CalzoneGolem 01/13/2014 at 12:07

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I'm seriously considering removing it.

Storz > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:07

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Owned it for exactly one month, complete POS and didn't get near the gas mileage to justify the lack of creature comforts

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Storz 01/13/2014 at 12:09

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Smart Fortwo

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:09

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It pretty much has to be this.

k-car if kinja'd.

Nibby > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:10

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Do I have to? Just thinking about the car makes me want to stab myself.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:11

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Worst car ever?

Troll.

1956-58..

Why does this deserve a place on the top list as a crap-can? I'll tell you why.. It was based on a Gutbrod superior, but with a fiberglass body, at a time when fiberglass was something new... Troll did NOT pull this of, part of the reason would be because they could only sell 15 cars each year in Norway due to a barter treaty between Norway and Soviet Union and Eastern Europe. But who in his/hers right mind would ever buy a fibreglass bodied Gutbrod made in Norway?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Agrajag 01/13/2014 at 12:12

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Short description please?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 01/13/2014 at 12:13

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Designed by Dr. Seuss?

CalzoneGolem > For Sweden 01/13/2014 at 12:14

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I'm waiting for the but ....

(see what I did there?)

CalzoneGolem > Party-vi 01/13/2014 at 12:15

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You know you love it.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:17

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Looks that way I'd say..

TheJWT > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:18

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I'm gonna go with Iron Duke-equipped Camaros. Because they have 90hp.

90.

And being an 80's GM product I'm sure they all ended up looking like the above car.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > TheJWT 01/13/2014 at 12:20

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Year range please?

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:22

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We'll try a picture again.

K-car, produced from 1981 to 1995. Worst car because, well look at it. It's hideous. They understeered at parking lot speeds, the engine was lucky to keep its headgasket past 40k miles, and look at it. It is still just as hideous as it was a few sentences ago. The country is still recovering.

TheJWT > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:24

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1982-1985

 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:27

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I am sorry but Hyundai Pony > Chevy Rentaboo for the crappiest car ever built.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire >  01/13/2014 at 12:28

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Years and description please?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Nibby 01/13/2014 at 12:29

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Yes, and a picture.

 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:34

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1982-1990

It's the crappiest POS to be made by Hyundai and will forever overshadow anything they make or will make in the future. It came with a variety of underpowered Mitsubishi 4 bangers and equally horrible transmissions. Ride quality was equal to riding on a donkey that is riding on a camel that is being pulled backwards with a tractor down an unpaved road. Build quality was as bad as the amount of air and water leaks through the window and door seals.

KirkyV > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 12:56

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My hatred of this car is somewhat irrational, but it and its ilk are the reason why I can't have a good car from my favourite manufacturer that's newer than 2004, but older than 2012... Which just so happens to be the age range from which I'd ideally like to pick my next car.

Fuck you, 206.

Roberto G. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 15:33

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > TheJWT 01/13/2014 at 17:27

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I'd totally drive that. American cars look cool.

TheJWT > Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder 01/13/2014 at 17:43

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Don't get me wrong, I'd love a Z28 or Iroc-Z, but I'd stay as far away as possible from an Iron Duke 4 cylinder Camaro.

PS9 > TheJWT 01/13/2014 at 18:00

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But-but $500 LS swap mule!

TheJWT > PS9 01/13/2014 at 18:00

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But you could do that to any car on this list:)

Renegade > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 19:07

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I owned one of those. I had a 1997 Oldsmobile Cutlass 3.1L. The registration said it was a Calais, but the trim said it was a Limited. It eventually got towed and I told the tow company to keep it.

The build quality of this car was absolutely terrible, but the 3.1L was reliable and it was kinda fun to beat around in. Great mileage (30mpg) when you got the inevitable lower intake manifold gasket failure.

Singhjr96 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/13/2014 at 19:11

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How about yugos?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Singhjr96 01/13/2014 at 20:43

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years and description.

505Turbeaux > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/14/2014 at 12:02

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1988 Hyundai excel. Terrible quality, and just look at it

KB Garage > TheJWT 01/14/2014 at 12:05

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Jeez man, I was eating. Ugh. =D

Zoom > Agrajag 01/14/2014 at 12:46

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Did any domestic 4 keep a headgasket past 40 k in the 80's?

I might have to agree here, one of the worst car of the 80's, if it didn't spawn very successful offspring. This being one

Sunray09 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/14/2014 at 13:50

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This should be a European triumph. ZIL YUGO TRABANT any year of Trabant is likely to be on a worst car ever mass produced.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Sunray09 01/14/2014 at 13:52

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The Yugo has been selected, what is your pick with a YMM, description, and a picture that I can see?

Sunray09 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/14/2014 at 13:55

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I gotKinja'd I posted a Picture of the Trabant 601

Sunray09 > Sunray09 01/14/2014 at 13:58

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Dam it Kinja'd again.

Sunray09 > Sunray09 01/14/2014 at 14:07

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Anytime you have a car with parts of the body shell made out of plastic and cotton waste you know you are more than 1/2 way to the ultimate piece of automotive dung on the planet. After all Cottonelle that treats your cheeks to a dewy soft pampering is essentially the same thing minus the plastic 1957-1991 there was simply no bigger piece of shit on 4 wheels on the planet.

Agrajag > Zoom 01/14/2014 at 14:23

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When these were still newish, you could see 1-2 year old ones just pouring out white smoke like a steam engine.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/14/2014 at 14:46

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1980-2008 (export run ended in 1992)

Basically, a Fiat 127 made even worse. Slow, rust-prone, unreliable as fuck, extremely fragile, hard to work on, etc.. The only good thing is that 127 parts fit right in.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Sunray09 01/14/2014 at 14:47

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No, this should be an Eastern Bloc/Warsaw Pact triumph.

Sunray09 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 01/14/2014 at 14:49

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Technically Perfect but practically useless..history has moved on the wall is down.

wagontastic > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/14/2014 at 16:12

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Dodge Turismo?

t

We went on a family trip in one of these (all four of us) and I still remember my dad complaining about it - he was not a picky car guy - even though it was borrowed, for free from his brother.

thebigbossyboss >  01/15/2014 at 08:47

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Hilariously it was the best selling car in canada in 1983.

Joe_Limon > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/15/2014 at 12:42

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1986 Thunderbird, the 3.8L v6 in my particular variant made around 100hp and got 7mpg!

505Turbeaux > Joe_Limon 01/15/2014 at 13:46

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that be a turbo coupe pictured though. which is not one of the worst ones ever

Joe_Limon > 505Turbeaux 01/15/2014 at 13:48

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Didn't the turbo coupe have holes?

Below is my exact one which I know for sure was a v6, and I can't tell the difference.

505Turbeaux > Joe_Limon 01/15/2014 at 14:05

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the later ones. The non turbos had the chrome grille/headlight surrounds/trim and no red stripe around the cladding. I have a crazy story about being in my buddy's cougar of that vintage with that engine at a drive through safari. It is ridiculous

Joe_Limon > 505Turbeaux 01/15/2014 at 14:47

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I eventually had my headlight surrounds painted like that and the pin stripe came off after some body work was done because I wasn't about to pay for hand pin striping.

Singhjr96 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 01/15/2014 at 22:59

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It was also $3000 dollars brand new back in the day. So it was cheep. Made by yugoslavia, hence the yugo name. I would like to buy this and put in a rotary with turbo or even a powerful bike engine with a turbo and see what happens. :)

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Singhjr96 01/16/2014 at 10:46

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C20LET swaps have been done. Do note, nonetheless, that just because it can go fast doesn't make it good. Also, $3000 in the 1980s isn't the same as $3000 in 2014.

Singhjr96 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode 01/16/2014 at 18:51

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$3000 in 1980 is $8,481.44 in 2013 according to this website. http://www.bls.gov/data/inflation…

pretty cheap still for a new car.

SpeedSix > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/18/2014 at 12:23

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Morris Ital

The Morris Ital, introduced in 1980, was a rehashed version of the Morris Marina introduced in 1971. In a bid to emphasize its connection to the Italdesign studio, it was named the Ital, even though it was "styled" in-house and Italdesign merely produced the "design".

Instead of the round headlights, we got ugly rectangular plastic units. Instead of a simple, clean grill, we got a slab of black plastic. The available engines were a dated A-series, or the unexciting O-series engine. The most stylish of the Morris Marina variants, the coupé, was not carried over. In typical British Leyland style, build quality was dismal, and major technical changes from the original launch of the Marina 1971 were nonexistent. The only saving grace was the low pricing.

Overall, it's pretty much a worse-styled and even more dated version of the Morris Marina. The Ital was the last non-commercial car sold under the Morris nameplate, and for a company started in 1912, it was quite an unfitting end.